A little bit of a long long life~~

"Too many regrets... got a feeling i'm living regrets every today and regretting every yesterday. "

Decided to remind myself on the small small things i did (which i took pictures)... in case one day something happens and i can't remember anymore :)

I haven't done a lot of things... my list is still so limited to normal stuff and not yet great stuff.

Eventually i'll be doing great things... but i also don't want myself to forget the things that i have done... things that I do not want myself to regret forgetting.

Realized i took too few pictures in the past (haha.. probably cuz of a confidence issue of a teenager with a face of acne). I want my life to be richer. Thus, I will try to fill the spaces here with stupid things that i have done~~ :)

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Not in Chronological Order

Me, Edwin, Yean Shan, CK, Kok Loon and Hoo KEat at OSK Futures Seminar. Listened to Crap and things that i have already forgotten by now. Sigh... :(

Go MV Doulos at Port Klang where a lot of books (i bought Wuthering Heights and finished the book!!) were sold. Esther Cindy CK Yean Shan Libby Barry Mandy Me and my sis were there. Heheh... This pic most memorable cuz looks like a happy family. Ck Yean Shan and me sis. :) Oh yeah this was in July. :)

Went to play Paintball!! This happened on November 2006 laa.. but lazy to sort the pictures by chronological order. So i guess just post 3 per post until all the pictures stories are told la. Taken with CK and Darren, We went paintball with Esther and her colleagues. HEhehehe. Fun but Pain... haihhh :(

"In a field of withered roses it's always nice to find a dash of red. Eventhough i can't share your pain, i do hope i can be that red spot where hope always lies" - Turtle

A breath of fresh air~~

Sunday morning 1.50am. The past 2 days have been .. emm... fun! On friday nite me and my junior Jolyn went to Sunway Surf Beach to see the MYC Fresh faces thingy (but actually for me, it's to see the gals in bikinis walking around and on stage). Whooaa... some gals were really hot!! anyway the event was cool... the gals were hot and cute... i remember one gal who was a mix call Hishiko or something like that... and others too.. although i can't remember the names. They were like HOT man~!! Well, the guys on stage were quite cool too, although i hate to admit it.

Met up with Edwin, Chia chuin, Joanne and her bf, Cindy and her bf Kim Lye, Han lun and his bf Mei Ling, Esther, Hoo keat and his gf hui jing... hahaha... seems like a gathering but we just stood there watching the performance. :) Lisa was in her swimsuit... she didn't wear a bikini i don't know why... perhaps a confidence issue? :)

Anyway that was that... didn't bring a camera but i guess Jolyn had taken a lot of pics... will try to attempt to get some pics of pretty babes from her soon..

Saturday nite~ went to see a concert featuring a lot of Chinese Singers... actually i can't remember the name of the concert, but there was Guang Liang, Ah Du, JJ, Jin Sha and a lot more to name. Jin Sha was so so cute!! The concert was awesome and we got like really great views from the place we were sitting. Oh yeah went with Ting TIng, Hui Sin, Ren Xin and Ting's sis Yen Yen. Amazing concert... makes me think of how hard the singers worked to get so high up and so well known and i'm still a nobody in my own industry. Still so much work to be done!

Starting next post i think i will stop talking about my daily life.... and start narrating a fictionous story of a fictionous character and his fictionous life. I'll see how it goes... till then~~!

Turtle is Jobless~~

Well... finally the day has arrived. I officially resigned on the 13th December 2006. Disappointed looks on my bossses faces, but in the end they wished me good luck, all the best, keep in touch... :) hehehe.. looks like eventhough i'm a pain in the ass, i wasn't such a sharp prick that made them hate me so much.. :)

My first day at home without work to do... woke up at noon and until the time of this entry (which is almost dinnertime) i did nothing of any importance. My OSK job is postponed to 15th of January to accomodate those people that are working and have to give a @#%^@ 1 month notice!~! (DAMN THEM!!) Thus, for the next 1 month i have nothing to do~~ or rather.. nothing to do.. yet. Feel i must plan my life better as it's getting kinda sad... i'm thinking too much about stupid things like turtles and comets and promises... really got to make better use of my time and my life.

Dinner time~~

Judgment Day~~

My 10 year old sister Chin Chin which so many people

say is cute and pretty and....."she really is your sister ah?? why she

so cute one!!? totally not like you!!" Geram! x-(

Tomorrow is the 13th of Dec- The day i hand in my resignation letter ( a letter, which i haven't typed :P). Hmm... it's always so hard doing things that will hurt people, yet necessary for the growth and future of myself....

I come to think... leaving a company is like leaving a bf/gf who isn't loved anymore. You will feel grateful for all the things you have experienced in the company, and for all the teachings and training and care you received. This makes it so hard to say goodbye, as we are bloody humans and can't just say bye bye to an entity that has nurtured and "loved" you for so long. Thus, some people stay on for the sake of not feeling guilty.... and thus letting go of the future that that person dreamt of ... the future that would have been ideal.... just for the sake of childish sympathy for a company that can't bring you to fulfill that dream but has guided you for a stretch of life.

"It may have took you 2 years to have the courage to come to me.... but that was the same 2 years my heart needed to forget about you"

Adapted from the Korean drama series "My Girl"

Mixed Feelings day~~

8 am i woke up. Got myself ready to go sign the agreement of the Graduate Associate programme. Well, sometimes in life, you think you really want something , but in the end, or after some time, the desire will not be as strong as it initially was. It's like a leprecaun chasing after the gold bucket at the end of the rainbow... where at the end of the journey (and his life) he reaches there only to find out that it was only cornflakes....

Anyway, I get a salary of RM2000 with a really FREAKY bond which states that if i were to break the bond within this 2 years contract, i will have to pay the salary equivalent to the total of the REMAINING MONTHS!! This means if i start today and quit tomorrow.. i will have to pay RM2000 x 24 = RM48,000 for a day's work!! ..... wonder if i can fake my death if i really wanna quit..

There will be 20 Graduate associates, with RM2000 being the minimum salary and god knows what being the highest.. i had doubts in the morning about myself being paid the minimum and pondered around the issue for like... 30 minutes.. and finally saying to myself that it will take too much trouble and effort to come back here again to sign this damn thing and i doubt i can get another annual leave after i hand in my resignation letter. That being the case, i signed the offer letter for the minimum wage :(

Ever wondered why the title is called Wandering Comet? There's a story to it that goes like this...
Once there was a lonely comet who wandered alone through the vastness of space. It was in search of the meaning of it's life, a meaning which it is yet to find out. The comet passed shining stars and beautiful nebulas, watched the birth and death of stars, but yet it was still lonely.. hollow inside the heart.. with a void that is yet to be filled..

One day, it passed through the solar system and was mesmerized by a shining entity... an entity we call the moon... with much eagerness, the comet flew beside the moon and became friends with it... as the bond between the moon and the comet became stronger, only did the comet know that the moon, although with its shining exterior, was struggling all alone eventhough it had the Earth as a companion for eons and eons. It was neglected, controlled, and scarred all over.

Pityful and feeling sorry for the moon, and somewhere deep inside the feeling of wanting to be together forever with the moon, the comet asked the moon to leave together with it.. to go together to explore the vastness of the cosmos,.. to see the birth and death of stars together... to say hello to aliens and goddesses... to live to a death in a way that colours up the skies and the soul. The moon obliged..happily... as it could not imagine its own life just staying at one spot, being neglected and being controlled and being scarred. It wanted to go along SO SO MUCH!!

Then it happened!~ the earth, knowing about the moon's intention to leave, began to realize its actions (or no actions) towards the moon. It begged the moon to stay... it begged so hard... The seas rocketed... the mountains crumbled... human beings were being the casualties of the earth's remorse.... The moon, having a soft heart... couldn't bear to witness such a hurt planet and the dying occupants.... it stayed.

Till today, the comet is still wandering along the borderlines of the solar system... for eternity waiting for the moon to have the courage to say good bye to the earth... and go along with it to together journey space... As the dust particles of the comet slowly break away, meaning the life of the comet is diminishing as well.... it still stays on to wait for the moon, to wait for the moon to assemble the courage to pursue the future it wants... and not living a life to fulfill the future of another planet..

** The story of the Wandering Comet is purely fiction and does not resemble any person alive or dead**

My First Posting~~

11th December 2006~ my first blog is finally created, well, if you don't count in the one i created using friendster and only posted 2 stuff and finally deleted my whole friendster account just because i became temporary insane. But this one's different! I created this to last.. to keep my thoughts.. to remind me about my life, so that when i'm 50 years old and still single and dying of some weird sickness i can look back at this blog (if i still know how to use the internet) and say to myself, "hmm... well u may be pathetic and sick and lonely, but at least u did SOMETHING when u were young!"

Talking about something, today is the day i will sign my offer letter for the Graduate Associate Programme at OSK!! The official starting date is 3rd Jan 2007, but hey!! TODAY IS A GREAT DAY TOO!! I get to SIGN the offer letter!! how cool is that.... emm.... yeah... my life is exciting cuz there's a lot of small little stuff that makes me live on and not commit suicide just yet.

The past month has been terribly down for me. But in a way that even myself didn't notice it. I set goals for myself- lots of them~ ALL!~! ALL~~ which i failed to follow. I did not follow my "read a book a morning" plan.. i did not follow my "one stock analysis per week" plan... i did not follow my "one exciting new thing to do per week" plan... i did not do ANYTHING!! Looking back at my life for the past month, i was completely demotivated and did not feel like doing anything, eventhough i didn't know this myself until it struck me suddenly. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??

With this blog established, i have a new founded enthusiasm to have goals in life again. I have this unfounded optimism that i want to have dreams again and not be the way i am..... Too many are ahead of me, which really makes me a turtle ( i initially used this animal as my counterpart cuz it was cute). Now the animal defines me~! it's still not too late . i'm 23. Today is the day my life will change. And that means, i am more determined to let you go~ you .. that have haunted my life for the past 6 months claiming that you love me so much. I don't hate you... i really don't. People can't just change cowardice overnight... but 6 months??? I don't know... you can't hurt that guy.. but you are hurting me... the one you love... so that the person that you don't love but is more expressive of how he is hurt is not hurt... I don't understand.... 6 months..

Anyway, it's 12.40 am rite now... let this be the starting of a blog, and the ending of a long term love that was mutual.. but is now only on your side. I'm moving on... you know who you are.