My First Posting~~

11th December 2006~ my first blog is finally created, well, if you don't count in the one i created using friendster and only posted 2 stuff and finally deleted my whole friendster account just because i became temporary insane. But this one's different! I created this to last.. to keep my thoughts.. to remind me about my life, so that when i'm 50 years old and still single and dying of some weird sickness i can look back at this blog (if i still know how to use the internet) and say to myself, "hmm... well u may be pathetic and sick and lonely, but at least u did SOMETHING when u were young!"

Talking about something, today is the day i will sign my offer letter for the Graduate Associate Programme at OSK!! The official starting date is 3rd Jan 2007, but hey!! TODAY IS A GREAT DAY TOO!! I get to SIGN the offer letter!! how cool is that.... emm.... yeah... my life is exciting cuz there's a lot of small little stuff that makes me live on and not commit suicide just yet.

The past month has been terribly down for me. But in a way that even myself didn't notice it. I set goals for myself- lots of them~ ALL!~! ALL~~ which i failed to follow. I did not follow my "read a book a morning" plan.. i did not follow my "one stock analysis per week" plan... i did not follow my "one exciting new thing to do per week" plan... i did not do ANYTHING!! Looking back at my life for the past month, i was completely demotivated and did not feel like doing anything, eventhough i didn't know this myself until it struck me suddenly. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??

With this blog established, i have a new founded enthusiasm to have goals in life again. I have this unfounded optimism that i want to have dreams again and not be the way i am..... Too many are ahead of me, which really makes me a turtle ( i initially used this animal as my counterpart cuz it was cute). Now the animal defines me~! it's still not too late . i'm 23. Today is the day my life will change. And that means, i am more determined to let you go~ you .. that have haunted my life for the past 6 months claiming that you love me so much. I don't hate you... i really don't. People can't just change cowardice overnight... but 6 months??? I don't know... you can't hurt that guy.. but you are hurting me... the one you love... so that the person that you don't love but is more expressive of how he is hurt is not hurt... I don't understand.... 6 months..

Anyway, it's 12.40 am rite now... let this be the starting of a blog, and the ending of a long term love that was mutual.. but is now only on your side. I'm moving on... you know who you are.